Things have been slow in Cayman lately, as far as diving goes (which is why I haven’t posted much on here lately). Back at the beginning of September we had hurricane Gustav, and that scared away a lot of tourists. Then we had hurricane Ike, which did not hit us but gave us about eight days of rough seas. Conbine the impact of these hurricanes with the fact that September and October are typically very slow months for tourism (as summer ends and Americans go back to school), and it has meant a significant drop in diving for me. I’ve spent the vast majority of my working hours sitting in the dive shop bored, trying to figure out new ways to pass the time.
I was excited last week when we had a booking for two people to do an Open Water class. Open Water is the basic level of scuba diving certification, and the class takes about three days to complete. So I jumped at the chance to teach it, figuring it would keep me busy for a few days!
My two students were a middle-aged married couple, him 50, her 45. They were Americans, and sadly, as many middle aged Americans are, they were a good deal overweight. In and of itself this is not a huge problem, but scuba diving is a physical activity, so it is useful to be in moderately good shape. They indicated no problems on their medical forms, though, so we were good to go.
We spent the first half of day 1 in the classroom, going over academics. They did fine on this. The plan was to spend the second half of the day in the water, and to start off with the swim test that is required for certification. I gave them the choice of doing the swim test before lunch or after lunch, warning them that some people don’t like to do the swim test with a full stomach. Despite my warning, they chose to take the test after lunch. I warned them to eat lite and sent them on their way.
They came back an hour later, having gone to a local bar/restaurant for cheeseburgers. Not exactly what I’d call eating lite, but perhaps my standards are a bit different than theirs. Regardless, it was time for the swim test, which requires that they swim 200 yards without stopping. There is no time limit on this swim, no requirement that they do any particular stroke (they can dog-paddle if they want). We conduct this test in the ocean, but that is a bit misleading, as the ocean is as flat as a lake where I work. They have to swim out to our dive boat and back, twice (it’s about 50 yards each way). After explaining what was required, my students were very confident, expressing to me that it would be no problem at all for them. I was happy to hear this, and they got in the water and headed off full steam ahead towards the boat. They looked good for the first 50 yards, but when they reached the boat for the first time, I could see they were already tired, especially the husband. As they struggled to make their way back to the ladder, I could see the husband fading fast, and I prepared to jump in and rescue him. They were both able to make it back to the ladder and finish the first lap (the first 100 yards of the 200 yard swim), but they both stopped, realizing that they did not have it in them to complete another lap. On the bright side, though, i didn’t have to jump in and save them….
Being the amazing instructor that I am, I know that confidence is key to learning to dive (or learning to do anything, for that matter), and so I was quick to try to reassure them after their failure at the swim test. I told them that they could try again the next day, I made excuses that it was probably the lunch they ate or the strong gravitational pull from the moon affecting the water, or anything besides their general lack of physical fitness. I decided to build their confidence by heading into the water to do some actual diving — confined water dive 1 and open water dive 1.
There are 5 confined water dives in the Open Water course, where you learn some basic skills in shallow water, and 4 open water dives, where you perform the skills you have learned in deep water. Confined water dive 1 and open water dive 1 are very easy — they are the two elements of a “discover scuba resort course”, an introductory experience you’d do with someone who is trying scuba for the first time. There are five simple skills that you do, and then you go for a fun dive on the reef. I figured this was a good option for them, as it would get them in the water with gear on (decreasing the chance they get exhausted and drown), build their confidence, and show them the fun of scuba diving to get them excited and rebuild momentum for the rest of the course.
After teaching them how to use the scuba gear and going through a briefing on the five simple skills, we got in the water to go for a dive. After we climb down the ladder into the ocean, I typically have students swim out to the boat on the surface so they can get used to breathing out of a regulator. This swim is nice and slow, very relaxed, and much easier than the swim test, since the scuba gear helps them float and they are wearing fins that help them swim. As we reached the boat, I lifted my head out of the water and asked the couple, “how was it breathing out of the regulator?” The wife had no problems, and the husband replied “It was fine, except I just threw up in my regulator.” Wonderful.
So after informing me that there was now a big piece of cheeseburger inside his regulator, we decided to swim back to the ladder and get him a new one. The husband said that he was still up for continuing, and that he in fact felt better now that he vomited than he did before. So I got him out of the water, changed him over to a new regulator (and sent the other one into the shop to be cleaned and serviced), and we got back in to try again. As we stood at the ladder in the ocean, the husband tried to get his fins on his feet. This took a lot of effort for him the first time, and the second time proved to be no different. For those who don’t know, putting fins on is not at all difficult. You just have to be able to reach your feet, knees bent. But this guy was so overweight and out of shape that it was proving to be a real problem. He was struggling to reach his feet to get the fins on, he was huffing and puffing, and I could see that this was building to something bad. And sure enough, after a minute or so of trying, he was so worked up from the effort of reaching his feet that he vomited again!!!
I have what I think is a pretty fair rule — two pukes and you’re done for the day. So we got out of the water, and I sent them back up to the classroom to watch videos as I went into the shop to clean out two cheeseburger-vomit-filled regulators. Back when I was a corporate finance lawyer in New York I’d often have to clean up other people’s messes, but this was a worse mess than any I’ve had to clean up before.
To make an already long stong story short, over the next two days I was able to use my fantastic teaching and diving skills to get this couple certified as Open Water divers. It was not easy. It took a lot of of confidence building and it took a lot of work in the water — they were by no means easy. It was a difficult two days, but I was able to work with them, get their skils up to a satisfactory level, get their swimming skills up to a point where they could pass the swim test, and sign them off as fully certified scuba divers.
Of course, they were thrilled. After that first day they had serious doubts on whether they could complete the class, and they even contemplated dropping out and not returning for day two. So they were very happy and grateful for all of my hard work, and they thanked me numerous times. And after all of these thank-you’s, they said goodbye and walked out of the shop. WITHOUT TIPPING ME!!!
I swear, it makes me sick! I busted my ass for three days with these people, working super-hard to build confidence where there was no reason for confidence to exist, putting in extra effort in teaching to make up for the lack of competence and comfort in the water, and even cleaning and servicing TWO vomit filled regulators. Even if you don’t believe that scuba instructors should receive tips (which I would strongly disagree with), certainly a tip is warranted where someone goes above and beyond the call of duty, such as where they have to clean up your vomit. If this gentleman threw up in a restaurant, I’m sure he’d leave a bigger tip than normal because the staff had to clean up after him. But apparently that same common courtesy doesn’t apply at a dive shop.
As I’ve said in other blogs, it makes no sense to me that people will tip a waiter for carrying a plate of food across the room, but they won’t tip a scuba instructor for teaching them to breathe and survive under water and to have amazing adventures in a safe way, not to mention keeping them safe and alive during three days of training. Like waiters and waitresses, scuba instructors make less than minimum wage and rely on tips to survive. The difference is that waiters and waitresses actually get tips, while scuba instructors just get stiffed.
Unfortunately for me, I was too polite to follow these people out into the parking lot and tell them off for being so cheap and not tipping. Instead I’m just going to hope that someone walks into this guy’s office and vomits all over his desk.
As for me, I’m hoping that business picks up here in Cayman. Hopefully I will get more time diving and less time working in the shop, and hopefully I’ve cleaned out my last vomit-filled regulator for a while!